July 20, 2009

We normally run a pretty tight vacation schedule at Swamp Base Foster. All of our various adventures are planned far in advance, primarily so we can get the best deals from the cruise line. This year, however, one of my ten days off almost slipped through.

A couple of weeks ago my wife realized I still had a day to use before it vanished at the end of the month. I scheduled it quickly for July 17 (with nothing planned). Since our 4-year-old has lately been enthralled by all of the ‘space stuff’ associated with the recent shuttle launch and space walks, we decided it was good timing for a trip over to Kennedy Space Center.

But does he have the Right Stuff?

But does he have the Right Stuff?

A few days out, however, work-folks asked me if I could re-schedule to Monday owing to some scheduling conflicts. No problem, as we hadn’t yet firmed up any plans.

So it was by sheer scheduling accident that we found ourselves at the Space Center on the 40th anniversary of mankind’s first landing on the moon.

Despite the fact that I’ve been a Florida resident for 40-plus years, I had visited the Space Center proper exactly once – back in the early 70s as the moon program unwound due to public ennui. There wasn’t much to show at the time. A sense of history had yet to grip NASA. At the time the agency was also struggling with some serious budget cutbacks – even as the very serious space science program of Skylab began to throttle up.

Things have changed. The modern-day Visitor Center sprawls across a large chunk of former coastal swamp. From my perspective, at least, NASA has managed to turn the place into a bit of Space Science Theme Park. A regular, two-day admission isn’t cheap at $38 – but the $50 annual pass for Florida residents isn’t a bad deal when you live just a couple of hours away.

Juan Carlos had a blast. He spent a lot of time running around the “Rocket Garden”, ogling the collection of boosters and trying on all of the mock-up space capsules for fit. We shelled out a few extra bucks for a Sunday evening “Dinner with an Astronaut”. He enjoyed the NASA video quite a bit – lots of “blast off” footage and people bouncing around in weightlessness – and at least behaved himself through the 45-minute talk given by former shuttle astronaut Bob Springer.

Monday we rode around on air-conditioned tour buses (they didn’t have those when I was a boy…) to take in some of the outlying ‘attractions’.

Shorter than the other guys.

Shorter than the other guys.

The observation gantry at Launch Complex 39 offered a good view of both shuttle launch pads (39A and 39B). We were also treated to the rare site of the 4-million pound Transport Crawler in motion (at a speed of 1 mph) as it lugged the rigging from last Wednesday’s launch of Endeavor back to the Vehicle Assembly Building. The VAB itself was off-limits to visitors as Discovery is currently being assembled for a scheduled mid-August launch.

As it was the 40th Anniversary of the first manned moon landing the main attraction, in my mind, was the Saturn V / Apollo Center. It’s an enormous building which includes, among other things, a complete Saturn V rocket displayed horizontally. Not a mockup, mind you. The complete, real deal. It was the launch assembly intended for one of three Apollo missions cancelled as the nation and Congress lost interest in their new Moon toy and its expense.

In case you were wondering, them suckers were big.

Juan Carlos was particularly interested in repeatedly rubbing the piece of basaltic moon rock on display. To my surprise, he was also impressed by the venue’s two main video presentations. The first was a second-by-second replay of the final minutes of the launch of Apollo 8, which was presented in a theater populated by a number of the monitoring consoles preserved from the original Apollo launch control complex. The second was a 10-minute, narrated presentation detailing Apollo 11′s moon landing.

We also briefly toured the International Space Station Center, where you can traipse through mockups (or perhaps duplicates) of some of the space station’s modules and then visit a glassed-in gallery with a view onto the processing facility where technicians are assembling station modules that are to be lofted aboard the final 7 or 8 scheduled space shuttle missions.

After leaving the Visitor Center, our final stop was the Astronaut Hall of Fame (included with main admission…) a few miles to the west. It’s a very kid-friendly facility, set up after the style of a hands-on science museum. Video presentations reprised all of the Mercury, Gemini and Apollo program launches from video screens built-in to some of the original Gemini program launch consoles. Juan Carlos probably spent 45 minutes monitoring ‘his’ rocket launches from those consoles.

He was also quite thrilled when he managed – with a little help from his old man – to safely land his space shuttle simulator on the first attempt (much to the consternation of the 10-year-old who had hogged the simulator through three successive crashes before us).

If there’s any accuracy to the thing, by the way, the shuttle flies like a dead elephant with a shop fan strapped to its ass.

Not a bad way to spend a nearly-overlooked day of vacation.

Pondering propagation

What is the speed of propagation of gravity? Does it ‘move’ at the speed of light (as supposed by general relativity), or does the gravitational force propagate instantaneously (as supposed in orbital mechanics)?

I remember a discussion on the topic thirty years ago (when I was much smarter) with a physics professor at good ol’ UGA. Why the subject came up at all is lost to time. We talked about it on and off during the course of two hours of playing handball on the indoor courts at old Stegman Hall (which is long gone, I understand). I don’t much recall what we resolved during the discussion. I mainly remember that, as usual, I got thoroughly clobbered at handball for two straight hours.

Those random memories popped into my head this morning as I sat out on our lanai, staring off into the jungle behind our property with a large cup of strong coffee. The word ‘propagation’ was behind the whole episode because it was one of those mornings that caused me to meditate on one of science’s great imponderable questions. To wit:

What is the speed of propagation of coffee?

There is no easy answer. Obviously, coffee propagates neither instantaneously nor at the speed of light. If either were the case, after drinking the first cup of coffee I wouldn’t have still been sitting there with my thousand-yard stare and my fine motor skills seriously impaired.

[Delaying the morning’s ablutions until full mental functions are achieved is mainly a safety issue, by the way. The razor’s cold steel is not something any man should have to encounter until his mind is alert and his hand is steady. Trust me on this.]

I think there is no ‘absolute’ speed of coffee. There seem to be many variables involved, because on different days it propagates at different rates. Strength of coffee, volume of cup, mass of the consumer,  length of sleep, environmental humidity, time of day and day of the week are just a few of the factors that impact the equation.

It’s difficult to study empirically because coffee displays the intermittent ability to camouflage its presence. Sometimes I drink a cup of coffee, it kicks in directly and off I go about the day. At other times, however, one cup will have no apparent effect; neither will a second cup. Then, halfway through the third cup the coffee drops its clever camouflage and I’m bouncing off the ceiling. Damned stuff.

Pondering the universe’s great imponderables rarely produces any sort of solution, and this morning was no different.  In truth, I think the main idea behind pondering (which is much like meditation) is to ponder a question until it becomes moot.

“By doing nothing, everything is done” as the Taoists would say.

Heat. Just heat.

Even with the benefits of air conditioning, cold beer, ice cubes and fruity mango pops, when the weather is as hot as it has been here the last few days everybody just sort of goes to ground. I’ve got to cram any meetings or drop-ins into a schedule before 11 a.m. every day if I want to find anybody in a conversive mood. Otherwise, it’s hard to conduct business when you walk into somebody’s office with the soles of your shoes half melted and sticking to everything.

Just another breezy day.

Just another breezy day.

On the way to a meeting yesterday morning, I stopped in at the McD’s in Belleview for one of their $1 fountain drinks. Even though it was only about 9:30, I was not alone. It seemed like there were 20 or so people all sitting around with cold drinks, all looking out the windows at the heat waves shimmering over the pavement and thinking ‘oh shit, I’ve got to go out there and work.’

A clutch of real estate agents (they’re easy to spot) who had been out making their end-of-the-week rounds of new MLS listings shuffled in as I was getting ready to leave. They had some serious perspiration going on. I wasn’t sure if they’d just been out walking around properties, or if they’d had a group splash in a swimming pool somewhere.

When the mercury is nudging up around 98 and 100, it tends to alter your daily routine. I’m seldom up at 7 a.m. on a Saturday morning, but this past weekend I sure as shootin’ had all of the yard mowing and outside chores around the Swamp finished by 9:30. Even then, it was nearly 90 by the time I was done.

The weather folks tell us we can look forward to a break in the heat the next few days, though. It’s only supposed to get up to around 92 or 93 the next couple of days.

In a (not) parallel universe

My fellow citizens,

As my new administration begins working to guide our nation through these perilous economic times, rest assured that the twin burdens of duty and leadership weigh heavily upon us all.

While we embark upon this task with promises of a new openess in government and with renewed dedication to enlightment and cooperation in our international affairs, I know that many of you are concerned only with the struggles of our economy. Industrial enterprises are failing. Many of you cannot find work and rely upon the government for support. Our national infrastructure is in disrepair and our educational institutions are in decline.

I will not lie to you and make any claim that economic recovery will be easy. We face some difficult times indeed. The decade-long decline in our industrial base has led to an expanding trade deficit and a sharp loss in the number of available manufacturing jobs. Our economy has become too dependent upon consumption of goods and consumer spending – which is an unsupportable base for long-term economic survival. Re-developing the industries and production jobs that are needed to generate sustained economic growth will be a task of Herculean proportions.

I understand full well that there exists in our nation a sharp political divide between the conservative thinking of the recent past and the newer philosophy of openess and restructuring that I represent. To our more conservative countrymen, let me offer the following assurance: Our belief in the core principles that built this nation into a respected world power is unwavering. Our committment to national security and to the security of our allies around the world is unshakeable. We are indeed the last hope for oppressed peoples around the world, and we must not fail them.

Our resolve to achieve victory in Afghanistan has not diminished. We must triumph over these terrorists in order to provide security for our homeland and in order to stabilize the region so that our allies in the Middle East may prosper.

Some critics might say that we must choose between economic stabilization at home or our committments as a world leader abroad. This is a false choice. Ours is a great nation, an unfaltering Union – and we have the willpower, resources and leadership we need to accomplish all things to which we dedicate ourselves.

Follow fearlessly my fellow citizens, and we will soon reclaim our economic might and re-establish our authority and security abroad.

In the service of all the people,

Mikhail Gorbachev
General Secretary, Communist Party of the Soviet Union.
April, 1985

 

[Yeah, I made that up. Is there an echo in here?]

All the coffee in the world

Our soon-to-be-ex-cat-if-he-does-it-again woke me up just a shade before 6 a.m. this morning. For whatever reason he had decided that he wasn’t going to eat the MRE-quality chicken loaf like substance we put out for his dinner last night, so he clawed his way into the bed yowling with hunger.

After I put aside my initial temptation to look for the 12-gauge, I gave him some snacks and went back to bed to await my usual 0645 alarm clock serenade. I did indeed manage to doze off again before reveillie sounded, but by then it was already too late. My sleep cycle was all screwed up and the day was shot before it even got started.

The coffee maker was happily blurching away in the kitchen. I watched as the pot slooooowly filled up to the ’8′ mark (which is about all the Missus and I will usually drink in a morning) and it occurred to me that on this particular day, I was going to need all the coffee in the world if I was going to get anything done.

By my calculations, there are over 180 million kilos of homeless coffee in the world today.

So a few hours and five cups of coffee later, I’m chewing on my lunch at work and I begin to wonder…

Just exactly how much IS all the coffee in the world?

Teh Intrarwebs are a wonderful thing for the incessantly curious, and especially for the incessantly curious who are stoned on a coffee overdose. It’s also good that the Federation of American Scientists and the USDA are both fond of publishing all sorts of interesting little agri-business tidbits.

Apparently, the Coffee People measure the world’s coffee production by the standard unit of the “60kg bag” of coffee beans. It’s inconvenient that I can’t buy a 60kg bag of coffee beans at Sam’s Club, but I guess when you’re one of the worlds Official Coffee Bean Counters it’s easier to count 60kg bags than, say, those crappy little 13 oz. bags you see in supermarkets (which used to be 1-pound bags but aren’t any more – but that’s a different story).

So. In 2008 the reported coffee production world-wide was 138.4 million bags of coffee. That’s over 8 BILLION kilos of coffee. I think – somebody check my math, because I was a journalism major in college.

According to the same set of reports, not all of that coffee was consumed. Depending on who you read, there was a surplus of at least 3 million bags. That means there are about 180 million kilos of homeless coffee out there. If any of those homeless kilos are reading this, you’re more than welcome to come stay at my place.

If I can’t get all the coffee world, I guess even a measly quarter-million kilograms would do for starters.

Is it STILL Friday? Ugh.