The Great War on the Big Table

Before I dive into a wargamer’s look at artillery in World War One (as mentioned in my previous post), I figured it probably would be a good idea if I first delivered quick looks at the two games I’ll be waving around during the discussion.

Infantry Attacks: August 1914

Infantry Attacks: August 1914

First to arrive — some weeks ago now — was August 1914: Battles for East Prussia, which is the initial offering in the new Infantry Attacks series from Avalanche Press.

The Infantry Attacks rules are close relatives of APL’s PanzerGrenadier series rules. The game scales are the same with 200-meter hexes and 15-minute turns. However, the combat units in the two series represent different sized formations; in PanzerGrenadier a typical unit is a platoon, while in Infantry Attacks most units are company-sized. Infantry Attacks devotes substantial additional “rule-age” to artillery fire and artillery ammunition (among other things), which balloons the series rules to a hefty 35 pages (compared to PG’s slim 16 pages of rules).

That said, the two series share many core mechanisms. If I had to venture a guess, I’d say most PanzerGrenadier players will be up and running with Infantry Attacks in fairly short order. Otherwise the rules aren’t as complex as you might expect from 35 pages, although I would recommend that total noobs to the series take a look at the “Infantry Attacks in Five Minutes” download on the APL website.

The game’s physical package is in line with the latest of APL’s releases in the PG series. The six cardstock maps, produced by a new artist, are another small advance for a publisher that has occasionally struggled with map art in the past. The counters are very attractive and clean (as usual) and charts and tables are printed on the familiar tan cardstock. My overall impression is that it’s an attractive, clean and very functional graphic presentation.

A more recent arrival is Through Mud and Blood, the third game of the In The Trenches tactical series from Jeux Grenier Games.

Through Mud and Blood

Through Mud and Blood

The first two games in the series were, more or less, “super-DTP” productions that featured pre-mounted, cut-em-out countersheets. I skipped the first game in the series (“Opening Engagements”), mostly because I found the mixed bag of scenario topics less than compelling. The second game (“The Lost Generation”) piqued my interest, however, and I’ve played it a number of times.

The game scale for In The Trenches is 100-meter hexes and five-minute turns, with most pieces representing platoon-sized units. While the game’s command system rewards players for operating their troops in company-sized formations, In The Trenches is very much more of a “firefight” scale game than it is a “battle” game like Infantry Attacks.

Unlike its two predecessors in the series, Through Mud and Blood comes with professionally-printed, mounted and die-cut counters. For gamers who wrestle DTP counters with rhomboidal cuts and slipping X-acto knives, this is a definite step up. As with all of the Grenier-published games I’ve played, the counter artwork is very crisp and functional. The production quality of the countersheet overall is excellent — better in many aspects than the counter work produced by some of the much larger players in the market.

The maps? Well. Aaa. Mmm. These are truly a mixed bag for me. Previous games in the series have featured 12 x 18 inch maps printed on a heavy, glossy stock. TMB’s maps are essentially half that size, checking in at 8.5 x 11 inches. They’re printed on the same glossy stock as earlier maps. The graphic style is also similar to the earlier games — clear and functional, if not particularly inspired — with the exception of the “Hill 06″ map that uses a color palette that’s very dark indeed. On parts of the “Hill 06″ map, in fact, the black-lined hexgrid all but disappears into the map’s dark colors.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the series, the mapboards in the ITT series are not geomorphic — they are all historical bits of battlefield from the Great War. So in general, the actions represented in Through Mud and Blood are much smaller firefights than those found in earlier games of the series. After some of the heavy-duty actions in the series’ second volume, this is a little bit of a let-down.  I imagine it does, however, make this a very good game for introducing new players to the ITT rules.

Just in case you’ve forgotten

IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

Gaming the familiar unknown

Most wargamers are at least casual consumers of military history. An interest in some or another item along the rich, lengthy timeline of mankind’s most rigorously embraced and universal pasttime (i.e. finding clever ways, and even cleverer excuses, for blasting each other to bloody flinders) is typically what initially draws us in to our little corner of the gaming universe.

Whoa. Wait a second. I’m not trying to get philosophical here. What I’m heading toward is this: We’re all generally familiar with the ‘received imagery’ that characterizes past conflicts. But with the exception of a few of our most recent wars — fought since the introduction of film photography and serious, clinical methods of record-keeping — many of us (myself included) have a limited understanding of how elements found in many of our wargames ‘really’ worked in battle.

Napoleonic skirmishers, for example. Wargames that try to portray them nearly always screw something up. I’m not exactly sure how a skirmish line worked on the battlefield. I’m not that sure which armies used them (and when), how their usage changed from the 1790s through 1815, how many played a role in any given battle nor even (just being honest) what they REALLY did. But I’m pretty sure that the treatment they get in many wargames doesn’t quite square with history.

A British 60-pounder in action during the Great War.

A British 60-pounder in action during the Great War.

Another iconic element that wargames (and wargamers) seem to struggle with is indirect artillery fire. I guess in this case I’m looking primarily at tactical and grand tactical wargames. It’s a vexing subject.

Given that a lot of gamers (and some game designers) have first-hand familiarity with the processes and effects of modern-day “off-board artillery” I think it’s interesting that so few games come even remotely close to getting it right.

Sometimes I think that designers trip themselves up when they convince themselves that their game is incomplete without some sort of detailed treatement of artillery. Games set at the ‘man level’ — like SPI’s old Sniper and Patrol games — should have skipped it entirely. In Patrol, at 5 meters per hex, the blast radius of a super-heavy artillery round covered nearly an entire geomorphic map sheet (usually about one-sixth of the map). It’s nuts to even attempt to ‘game’ something like that — you’re not calling 8-inch artillery onto the bad guys when you’re close enough to throw rocks at them.

In cases like that (and there are others) a designer just needs to admit his game is set after Arty has done its work and move on from there.

The time scale of the call-for-fire process screws up a lot of game designs. Even well-regarded ‘technical’ games like ASL and ATS struggle with it, principally because of issues with turn scale, time compression and predictability. A more chaotic process gives artillery a better ‘feel’ in the Combat Commander series of game. Still,  in all three games we’re really dealing with artillery being commonly used well inside the “danger close” engagement zones that battery commanders rarely approved.

Platoon-level games usually get closer to the mark. Their longer time scales and larger hex scales are much easier to square with a real-world call-for-fire process. First-generation games like PanzerBlitz and its various offspring struggled with implementing artillery terminal effects on different target types (armored vs unarmored), but elements like call cycle timing and engagement ranges always seemed more appropriate.

Keeping all of that in mind, it’s time for me to steer back onto my original theme: Gaming elements of warfare that seem familiar because of our passing acquaintance with history, but about which we have limited first-hand technical knowledge.

Just a camporee with cannons...

Just a camporee with cannons...

The popular history of World War One is clogged with the imagery of slaughter on an industrial scale. Machineguns mowing down rows of advancing infantry, massive artillery barrages burying entire trenches packed with grunts, gas rolling across the battlefield like a silent wave of horror. Particulary because of the general stalemate in the West from 1915-1917, the Great War has received scant attention as a topic for tactical gaming.

Tactical reality for the grunts of World War One, however, was far from a static, wait-to-die affair. Although the battlefield was indeed dominated by then-modern methods of technological slaughter there was still plenty for an infantryman to do.

A couple of fairly recent games add substantially to the Great War’s tactical wargaming library. In The Trenches is a series from Grenier Games — the third volume is shipping now — set at the platoon level with a hex scale of 100 meters and 5 minute turns. Infantry Attacks is a PanzerGrenadier spin-off from Avalanche Press that tackles things at the company level, with 200-meter hexes and 15-minute turns.

The games take distinctly different approaches to the topic of indirect artillery fire. Artillery was undeniably one of the dominating factors on the World War One battlefield, which means in both cases the artillery mechanisms are crucial components of the game designs.

In my next blog post (or two, maybe), I’ll be taking a more detailed,  side-by-side look at these two games. Tune in next time for my take on where these games work, where they don’t and how they address some of the foggier aspects  of history surrounding the world’s first truly industrial war.

Wrapping up Horus Heresy

After a number of weeks here on the Big Table, I think it’s about time to wrap up my thoughts on the subject of the new Horus Heresy. It’s not quite time for the game to go back in the box, but at least it’s time for other games to start to get a little bit of face time on my cyberpages here.

All things considered, I’ve found the game very enjoyable. No game is perfect — as I’ve mentioned before — and Horus Heresy has a few pesky flaws, but really not that much to right home about.

In addition to the few items I’ve pointed out in previous posts, I’ve discovered one other minor aggravation. For me, at least, it’s something that does slow down game play a little bit. I’m wondering, would it have killed the presentation of the game if Fantasy Flight had managed to get a NAME somewhere on those stand-up figures of the ten Heroes?

Angron is a bit unhappy after routing off the spaceport.

Angron is a bit unhappy after routing off the spaceport.

Perhaps at full size it’s easy to tell all of the heroes apart. But at ‘normal gaming distance’ under ‘normal gaming light’, sometimes I find it a real PITA to figure out just who might be who. Yes, yes: I know there’s a little color-coded section beneath the portrait that matches the color scheme on the little “legion indicators” — but that’s starting to get into squinty-eyed territory for me when I might be 5 or 6 feet away from the little 2-inch images.

It’s a problem that likely evaporates after you’ve played the game 10 times (I’m not that far along), but in the meantime it IS a wrestling match for me. Heroes are generally always accompanied by units (such as Space Marines) that should help identify them, but sometimes I think graphic designers for games need to take a hint from their compadres in web design and follow the simple mantra of usability: Don’t make me think.

At any rate, again, not a gut-buster by any stretch of the imagination. Just another little weed that needs to get whacked out of the garden.

So. I suppose a few hard-won observations about game play would be in order at this point.

When the game is setup for the first time and the players step back to take a look at their opponent’s stockpile, there are usually a few moments when the Imperial player may despair and the Chaos player may allow himself a little chuckle. There are a LOT of Chaos units in that stockpile. Not so much for the Imperial player.

Chaos has to land more guys than this.

Chaos has to land more guys than this.

But here’s the trick: Those units are all in the Chaos STOCKPILE. They are NOT on the game board. The challenge for the Chaos player is to get as much of that large force into the game as quickly as possible. The slower the buildup, the more chance an aggressive Imperial player has to defeat arriving forces in detail.

Here’s another common-sense tidbit: The earlier Chaos units land, the more actions they can take before the game is over. Yeah, I know that sounds rock simple stupid, but it’s a point that’s easy to overlook. All of those little circles on the Initiative Track can play mind-tricks. The game is deceptively short. There are only five Refresh phases in the game. That means units in the game will be able to activate a maximum of six times in the course of a game.

Most Chaos units will expend one of those activations just to get onto the map. So there is a built-in “delay” of sorts before they can join in all of the shootin’.  Chaos units that don’t land until after the first Refresh are even more limited — they will essentially miss a third of the game before they can do much of anything. Ouch.

The other day in my post about combat, I wrote a little bit about Rout. When a unit retreats out of combat, the area it retreats into is marked with a “Routed Activation” marker. Rout pretty much puts a unit out of the fight for two Refresh phases. Because of their overall numerical advantage, very often Chaos players may want to “fight to the death” when things swing against them in hopes of taking down a few Imperial units as they go.

For the Imperial player, the situation is nearly the exact opposite. Imperial forces don’t receive a lot of reinforcements as the game rolls on, so they can’t afford to get stuck into drawn out, bloody battles. They should rarely attack without a clear advantage in Total Combat Rank — primarily because they need to expend a good number of cards for their “shields” to soak off battle damage. Chaos can afford to burn a few combat steps in nearly every battle; the Imperial forces cannot.

As a caveat, I’ll note that games can run long — especially if either player has a tendency to over-analyze things. Large battles where each side may have 15-18 Combat Cards in hand might take 5 or 10 minutes to play out if somebody decides to engage in too much head-scratching. Ten minutes times lots of battles can add up pretty fast.

That said, I think both the card-based Orders mechanism and the card-based Combat resolution really serve to make Horus Heresy a very interesting and fresh ‘feeling’ wargame.

Plus, the little figures are pretty cool.

No dice! Combat in Horus Heresy

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, there are no dice to be found anywhere in Horus Heresy. There is no CRT, no modifiers, no table look-ups. Combat is resolved entirely through card play.

Today I’ll take a closer look at how that works. But first, a few bits of nomenclature:

Combat rank: Each combat unit in Horus Heresy is mounted on a base. The base has a number of ‘points’ on it that indicate the unit’s combat rank. Subtract any damage points indicated by a damage marker to calculate the unit’s current Combat Rank. In combat, you will draw a number of combat cards equal to the total combat rank of your units involved.

Heroes: These are the ‘special characters’ in the game — 5 on each side — who are the larger-than-life figures involved in the titanic struggle. Having a Hero present in a combat allows you to draw 2 of the special “Hero combat cards” to your hand in addition to the number of ‘regular’ cards allowed by your total combat rank.

Damage value: A number found in the upper-left corner of a combat card that indicates the amount of ‘normal’ damage it inflicts in combat.

Shields: Shield symbols are displayed in the left-hand column of most combat cards. They indicate the amount of ‘normal’ damage the card can block. Shields can also be expended to block combat card special effects.

Special effects details

Special effects details

Special effects: Combat cards also display text instructions that indicate possible special effects they may trigger when played by the active player. Special effects may require the presence of specific unit types in the combat before they can be triggered.

On to the nitty-gritty. Combat is played out in a series of “iterations” where players alternate taking the role of Active Player. The number of iterations in a combat is stated on the Order card that initiates the combat. Co-existence battles, which are triggered during change of initiative, last up to 8 iterations.

The Defender in the combat (i.e. the player who did NOT initiate the combat with an Order) decides which player is Active in the first iteratation. This is an important advantage because the number of combat cards that the active player can play is limited to the sequence number of the iteration. In plainer English: In the first iteration the active player can play 1 combat card; in the second iteration the active player can play 2 combat cards. And so on – up to 8 iterations.

In an iteration, the Active player plays a number of cards up to the iteration limit. These cards both deal ‘normal’ damage AND produce special effects (usually). The Passive player may counter by playing cards for their ‘shields’ to either block normal damage or cancel special effects.

The card-play limits and player sequencing mean that before the first combat card hits the table, big decisions are already underway. It’s a straightforward concept, but there’s a lot of that “wheels within wheels” stuff to consider. Do you have 1 or 2 high-damage cards that could deal an early knock-out? Or maybe you’re out-numbered but have a deadly special effect you want to play before scuttling away in a retreat?

There are a huge number of possible variations in most combats — anything with more than 7 or 8 cards per side can get really wild. After the second iteration, large amounts of normal damage can hit the table. Special Effects can also screw up the best-made plans, particularly the effects that cause a portion of the enemy force to rout out of the battle.

Any time after the first iteration of a battle, the active player can elect to retreat from combat rather than lay down combat cards. This is the standard survival technique for vastly out-numered forces. The only problem is that when a force retreats from combat, it’s marked with a Routed Activation marker. Unless some extraordinary circumstance intervenes, routed forces are out of action for a long time.

Units in areas marked Routed can’t be ordered to do anything. They can defend normally, but otherwise they’re of little use until two Referesh phases have passed. On the first Refresh, their routed marker is flipped to Activated. On the second Refresh, the Activated marker is removed and they can be ordered normally.

There are only five Refresh phases in the game, so you can see how this might gum things up a bit. In later stages of the game it’s not uncommon for players to elect to go down swinging rather than Rout their forces out of action for the rest of the game.

Ad astra per bozo

The boys at NASA may be struggling a bit to figure out where their little space program is going next, but the boys here in the Swamp have no such problem. As I may have mentioned before,  my kid (who just turned 5 in March) is a “rocket guy” in a serious way.

Stomp rockets were an unsuccessful delaying tactic.

Stomp rockets were an unsuccessful delaying tactic.

Our experiments with stomp rockets (which arrived Christmas day) went well. But foamy flying rockets that could reach a lofty altitude around 150 feet only served to fuel Juan Carlos’ desire to shoot some ‘real’ rockets even higher into the sky. That meant sooner or later some flying model rockets would have to put in an appearance.

My original plan was to hold off on an introduction to model rocketry for a couple more years. I was around 7 or 8 when my Dad and I flew our first model rockets — and I managed to have a lot of fun without blowing myself up. So that seemed like a good age for a start.

But kids these days have to get a head start on just about everything, don’t they? I came home from work one day last month to find Juan Carlos out on the back deck building what he called a “bottle rocket”. He was taking pieces of his various toy rocket rigs and duct-taping them to plastic water bottles.  While I was gratified to see that he’s absorbed the appropriate manly duct-taping skill, I knew his plan to ‘light the rocket fuel’ would lead to nothing but disappointment.

So I explained to him that water by itself won’t work as a rocket fuel. He countered that was OK: He would just drain off the water, put some matches in the bottle and then light them.

Holy crap. I’m raising a pyromaniac.

Well, maybe not a pyromaniac — but he can be very stubborn when he gets something in his head. I realized right then and there that it was time to improvise, adapt and overcome. I would either have to roll out a flying model rocket, or lock down everything flammable in the house and keep a constant watch on my inventive young man for the next six weeks.

The starter kit - some assembly required.

The starter kit - some assembly required.

So. Our swamp Bunker gets the addition of a spaceport a couple years ahead of schedule. Haven’t I written somewhere before that I’m really not in charge of planning around here?

The one thing that concerned me was that Juan Carlos had put his personal space program on something of a ‘rush’ timeline. He wanted to send a rocket into the swamposphere by the weekend, which gave me about 4 more days to get it going.

Now, I remember my first model rocket. My Dad was a science teacher so it wasn’t one of those dead-simple starter rockets from Estes like the Alpha. Nooooo.  We had to build a Saturn V. It was the ‘small’ Saturn V from Estes — maybe a foot tall? — and not the gigantic three-stage monster that they produced. Still, complicated enough.

It took maybe a week or 10 days to get it built and then, just for that special esthetic, Dad spray-painted it flourescent orange before putting on the ‘scale’ finishing touches. I guess he REALLY didn’t want to lose it.

Fortunately, in these modern times some of the ‘beginner’ rockets can be bought pre-assembled. So the next day I popped into Hobby Lobby and bought a starter kit (which includes the launch rig), a pre-built ‘Puma’ model rocket and a package of the small-sized 1/2-A engines the Puma uses.

In one of my finer moments of impersonating a rocket scientist I decided it would be OK for us to launch the Puma from the road in front of the Bunker. The rocket uses a streamer for recovery (which reduces drift), the wind seemed predictable and the little information card in the package informed me that the 1/2-A3-2T engines would only shoot the Puma about 150 feet high. At least that’s what I think I read. I could need reading glasses. Maybe. Anyway, I figured with the launcher in the right spot, I could make sure the little sucker would land on the driveway.

After all, I recalled, Dad and I had launched our first rocket from the driveway of our house in Shelbyville without a problem. Of course, it didn’t quite occur to me that our house there bordered on the Shelby County fairgrounds and on a big field around some old farmer’s tobacco barn.

Well, the streamer DID reduce drift. At least I got something right. The rocket sailed about 450 feet up. When it blasted off with an unexpectedly loud “SWISH!” I figured my plan was in trouble. I was counting on something more like a rocket-fart and a little lob up to tree-top height. Instead, I got half a friggin’ moonshot. I thought a 1/2-A motor was supposed to produce something like 1.5 Newtons of thrust? Crap.

Oh, and the wind was not entirely predictable.

The Puma survived to fly again.

The Puma survived to fly again.

My wife did not particularly enjoy going up on the roof of the Swamp Bunker to retrieve the thing. I chivalrously offered to climb up there myself, but she balked at the idea of my 230-pound butt clomping around on top of the house. Especially considering that the last time I was crawling around up in the attic I skillfully managed to poke a very nice hole through the sheet rock in our garage ceiling. I think she imagined a similar fate for the roof. I am not the Amazing Spider-Man.

Of course, the launch itself was one of the most exciting events EVER (at least on that particular Saturday) for Junior Rocket Boy. The whooshing, smoking, flaming rocket stuff was a very big hit indeed. The Puma survived, by the way, and will fly again someday soon.

But I think we’ll find a bigger field for the next launch. One roof hit is enough.