High life in the big crater

It’s embarrassing enough that my blogging mojo has been thrown out of sync because I’ve been playing a stupid computer game. To make matters worse, now I’m going to write a blog post about the bloody thing.

Well, it’s sort of on-topic, right? I mean, it IS a game. And there are definitely a lot of war-like aspects to the thing. So. Party on.

My character, Max (which is the name of every character I’ve had in every one of the Fallout games), lives in one of the little outposts of humanity scattered around the Capital Wasteland. His particular outpost is the first town typically encountered in the game, Megaton – so named because it’s built around the crater left by an unexploded nuclear bomb.

Max lives in a rough shack of a ‘house’, awarded to him by a thankful town after he managed to disarm the bomb at the bottom of the crater. He’s a bit of a do-gooder I suppose, although he does slip up from time to time and blast people who rub him the wrong way.

Many of the actions you take in the game generate ‘Karma’ – either good or bad – which impacts how other characters in the game react to you. From time to time Karma also affects in-game options like dialog points and which NPC followers you can recruit. It’s an interesting mechanism for assigning longer-term consequences to in-game actions.

Through customization of statistics (‘raw’ attributes like strength, perception and agility), skills (like small guns, science, and stealth) and ‘perks’ (like Sniper and Better Criticals) you can build a character to fit any number of playing styles. Personally, I favor silent slaughter so Max is optimized to sneak around and deliver critical hits against unsuspecting targets. He tends toward precision weapons, except for the combat shotgun he enjoys using at close range in place of a melee weapon.

Well, Max also really likes his Chinese Assault Rifle. It’s considerably more powerful than the normal ‘American’ assault rifle, and really handy for taking down roving clownshoes like the ‘Raider’ in the screenshot below (who, you’ll notice, made the fatal mistake of bringing a lead pipe to a gun fight).

Rifle beats lead pipe

Rifle beats lead pipe

As I’ve mentioned previously, I’m really impressed with the scope of the game world. A few of the areas (generally in the city) are ‘rubbled off’ from the rest of the world and connected to other areas only by the underground Metro system, but pretty much every place else is accessible to the dedicated wanderer.

The screenshot below is your basic unimportant random location in the game world. Of course, the same rubble ‘construction kit’ is used in all of the locations like this but there’s still plenty of detail included.

Large, radioactive playground

Large, radioactive playground

The roads actually go places, by the way. In fact, one tried-and-true method for wandering around to find new places is to follow roads or powerlines around the wasteland. Infrastructure – even infrastructure that’s been blasted to flinders – is still important in the post-nuclear future.

A mind is a terrible thing to Waste(land)

As I’ve mentioned before, I have a bit of a gaming… problem. I can get addicted to the things. Board games. Tabletop games. And computer games, too.

Board gaming and tabletop gaming are trouble enough for me. That’s why I try to steer clear of most PC games. I tinker a bit here and there with some of the PC wargames from HPS Simulations and some of John Tiller’s games, but I generally keep everything else off-limits because it’s too easy for me to get hooked into the bloody things.

Last year I had an episode… an ‘event’ … that got me stuck into the various versions of Dawn of War for a while. Not completely out of control, mind you, because the RTS genre isn’t something I find insanely compelling. But it was bad enough for a while.

But now. Ugh. Now…

A few weeks back, in a moment of complete moral collapse, I bought Fallout 3. And that – entirely – is the reason I haven’t had a new blog post for nearly 3 weeks.

I feel lucky that I can remember how to logon to my site’s control panel. A 3-week PC gaming bender would embarrass most people, but I’m pretty shameless. It’s eaten up nearly every bit of my gaming time (and some time when I shouldn’t have been gaming) and I’m not even close to finishing my first play-through of the thing. This is great PC gaming stuff.

You can find plenty of reviews of the game online, so I’m not heading off in that direction except to say that I’ve found it a well-produced, engaging and gigantic game universe.

After a few weeks, though, things are sliding back towards a proper equilibrium. As I recover my functional grey matter over the next few days, I’ll be looking once again at some of the newer board games that arrived a few weeks back.

My name is Matt and I’m a game junkie. Please Stand By.

In a (not) parallel universe

My fellow citizens,

As my new administration begins working to guide our nation through these perilous economic times, rest assured that the twin burdens of duty and leadership weigh heavily upon us all.

While we embark upon this task with promises of a new openess in government and with renewed dedication to enlightment and cooperation in our international affairs, I know that many of you are concerned only with the struggles of our economy. Industrial enterprises are failing. Many of you cannot find work and rely upon the government for support. Our national infrastructure is in disrepair and our educational institutions are in decline.

I will not lie to you and make any claim that economic recovery will be easy. We face some difficult times indeed. The decade-long decline in our industrial base has led to an expanding trade deficit and a sharp loss in the number of available manufacturing jobs. Our economy has become too dependent upon consumption of goods and consumer spending – which is an unsupportable base for long-term economic survival. Re-developing the industries and production jobs that are needed to generate sustained economic growth will be a task of Herculean proportions.

I understand full well that there exists in our nation a sharp political divide between the conservative thinking of the recent past and the newer philosophy of openess and restructuring that I represent. To our more conservative countrymen, let me offer the following assurance: Our belief in the core principles that built this nation into a respected world power is unwavering. Our committment to national security and to the security of our allies around the world is unshakeable. We are indeed the last hope for oppressed peoples around the world, and we must not fail them.

Our resolve to achieve victory in Afghanistan has not diminished. We must triumph over these terrorists in order to provide security for our homeland and in order to stabilize the region so that our allies in the Middle East may prosper.

Some critics might say that we must choose between economic stabilization at home or our committments as a world leader abroad. This is a false choice. Ours is a great nation, an unfaltering Union – and we have the willpower, resources and leadership we need to accomplish all things to which we dedicate ourselves.

Follow fearlessly my fellow citizens, and we will soon reclaim our economic might and re-establish our authority and security abroad.

In the service of all the people,

Mikhail Gorbachev
General Secretary, Communist Party of the Soviet Union.
April, 1985

 

[Yeah, I made that up. Is there an echo in here?]

All the coffee in the world

Our soon-to-be-ex-cat-if-he-does-it-again woke me up just a shade before 6 a.m. this morning. For whatever reason he had decided that he wasn’t going to eat the MRE-quality chicken loaf like substance we put out for his dinner last night, so he clawed his way into the bed yowling with hunger.

After I put aside my initial temptation to look for the 12-gauge, I gave him some snacks and went back to bed to await my usual 0645 alarm clock serenade. I did indeed manage to doze off again before reveillie sounded, but by then it was already too late. My sleep cycle was all screwed up and the day was shot before it even got started.

The coffee maker was happily blurching away in the kitchen. I watched as the pot slooooowly filled up to the ’8′ mark (which is about all the Missus and I will usually drink in a morning) and it occurred to me that on this particular day, I was going to need all the coffee in the world if I was going to get anything done.

By my calculations, there are over 180 million kilos of homeless coffee in the world today.

So a few hours and five cups of coffee later, I’m chewing on my lunch at work and I begin to wonder…

Just exactly how much IS all the coffee in the world?

Teh Intrarwebs are a wonderful thing for the incessantly curious, and especially for the incessantly curious who are stoned on a coffee overdose. It’s also good that the Federation of American Scientists and the USDA are both fond of publishing all sorts of interesting little agri-business tidbits.

Apparently, the Coffee People measure the world’s coffee production by the standard unit of the “60kg bag” of coffee beans. It’s inconvenient that I can’t buy a 60kg bag of coffee beans at Sam’s Club, but I guess when you’re one of the worlds Official Coffee Bean Counters it’s easier to count 60kg bags than, say, those crappy little 13 oz. bags you see in supermarkets (which used to be 1-pound bags but aren’t any more – but that’s a different story).

So. In 2008 the reported coffee production world-wide was 138.4 million bags of coffee. That’s over 8 BILLION kilos of coffee. I think – somebody check my math, because I was a journalism major in college.

According to the same set of reports, not all of that coffee was consumed. Depending on who you read, there was a surplus of at least 3 million bags. That means there are about 180 million kilos of homeless coffee out there. If any of those homeless kilos are reading this, you’re more than welcome to come stay at my place.

If I can’t get all the coffee world, I guess even a measly quarter-million kilograms would do for starters.

Is it STILL Friday? Ugh.

Coup plotters capture The Big Table

If it seems like it’s been pretty quiet in here since Christmas Eve that’s because, well, the unthinkable has happened.

The Big Table, the Mondo Table of the Hexgrid, the Six-Foot Wonder Table of Wargaming has been overthrown by a coup. Captured by rebels. Invaded by a foreign power. Seized. Purloined. Re-purposed.

The perpetrator is just a shade over three feet tall.

Yeah, that’s right. My kid has taken over the Big Table with the new HO-Scale electric train set Santa brought him for Christmas. While he may only be 3.5 years old, he is already an experienced hand at running his tiny rail line.

The rebels' weapons on display

The rebels' weapons on display

OK, sure, the loss of the Big Table may be a self-inflicted wound – but it’s still a wound. Fortunately smallish games can fit on my desk. And there are ‘digital play aids’ like Cyberboard, Vassal and ADC-2 available for a lot of the bigger stuff.

Anyway, you may wonder what type of insanity possessed me that I would hook up Junior Destructo Boy 3.5 with an HO-scale train. It’s simple, really. He loves trains. He’s got a bunch of Thomas the Tank Engine stuff – wooden sets, die-cast sets, ‘destination’ sets and a big Thomas table. Other types of train gadgets populate his closet as well, but he is completely captivated by the electric stuff.

The perpetrator of the coup

The perpetrator of the coup

Our various trips into town to see the holiday train show at the college always send him into a model railway-induced ecstatic trance. When he got into a box of my Dad’s old HO stuff a few months back and started poking at it, that pretty much sealed the deal. Santa and his helpers would be delivering a train for Christmas.

At the recommendation of our church’s Congregational Train Expert (who sells gadgetry on the train show circuit), we ponied up a few shekels for an inexpensive set that we wouldn’t mind seeing our child sacrifice to the gods of plastic destruction. The cheap set from “Life-Like Trains” is a fine starter and a major behaviorial experiment. So far, so good. At least temporarily I’ve managed to convince him that smashing the trains together or crashing Hot Wheels into them is an official Bad Idea if he wants to be able to continue playing with them.

As a side note, I would not offer testimonial on behalf of Life-Like Trains for either the serious train enthusiast or for an adult. In fact, if we’d paid retail for the set I’d probably be a little grumpy. The two ‘straight’ track sections in the kit don’t conduct power (they may later with some surgery, but I haven’t had time yet) and the hopper car was missing one entire truck (snap-in replacement to come). But the engine runs well and everything else stays on the track, even at full throttle (a popular speed choice with the under-4 crowd, I gather). Best of all, it lugs my Dad’s old rolling stock around the track just fine – which has allowed the kid to build a train that’s one-third the length of the entire track.

Five days since Christmas and he’s probably averaging around two hours a day at the controls – under adult supervision, of course. That’s pretty good value, yeah?

Still, don’t expect this to become The Train Blog. I like watching the kid play with his new gizmo and enjoy indulging in a “Daddy and Me” activity that doesn’t involve my 49-year-old butt rolling around on a floor somewhere. But just because the Big Table has been captured doesn’t mean the whole office (and game closet) has been turned into Grand Central Power Transformer Station.